Thursday, September 12, 2013

Out of sorts

Hello fellow readers. All five of you! 

I’ve been sick, out of sorts, and pulled in many directions. I also had an overwhelming amount of fun (including a random meeting of Kelly's sister) over the weekend. So I'm still a little tired from last weekend's shenanigans. I hope to post about my crazy fun weekend, but alas I have no photos! That may be for the best, as it involved swimwear and a floating cooler. 

But I digress.

Lately I’ve found my life defined by quotes from the Lord of the Rings. I make no apologies for my use of LOTR references in this post. Consider yourself warned!

“They’re scattered, divided, leaderless.”

My thoughts are scattered. There has been a lot to think about lately. Just a few weeks ago, I thought that I had it all figured out 

Shortly after writing about my deep thoughts, I sent my application and transcripts to Chesapeake College to start the process of getting my BA in social work.

Last Wednesday, I talked to someone about a job opportunity in the financial services industry. It would be similar to the work I did at my last job with Wilmington Trust.  It wasn’t an interview - just a chat to learn about the position and the person’s vision going forward. Aforementioned person heard that I’m an ideal candidate for the position. It was a nice ego boost for someone to approach me about a job when I’m not even looking.

Like I said in an earlier post, I like my current job. I don’t love it because I feel like I’m not making much of a difference. This particular opportunity would in some ways let me make a difference. Helping people achieve their financial goals makes a difference. I can get behind that.

However, I’m not the kind of person who would leave their employer after such a short period. I also don’t know if this opportunity is the right fit. There is definitely a lot of risk involved. My current position is stable and has awesome benefits. There is also a new regional director coming onboard next month who I think is going to be great to work with. But I have been leaderless since July, and I’ve felt a bit afloat here despite the local directors calling me  “Boss.”

"I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin, sort of stretched. Like butter scraped over too much bread."
Then there’s that 4 year degree on my bucket list.  If I ultimately decide to pursue the financial services position, do I get my business admin degree, which I’m not all that excited about… or do I proceed with my BA in social work?  Ultimately I can go on to get my MSW. Maybe I could even knock out my MSW before 40 if I work really hard. It’s only 7 years away, I have to be realistic.

Perhaps I have career ADHD. Or regular ADHD. Or maybe it’s just my personality: 

What ENFP’s are actually searching for, however, is more mental in nature, such as words, ideas, or possibilities (i.e., Ne). ENFPs are constantly generating new ideas, associations, and quips. They can often seem random, scattered, distracted, and flighty and, rightly or not, are commonly diagnosed with ADD or ADHD.

Like other NP types, ENFPs place high value on their personal experiences when it comes to discerning truth. Though not to the same extent as ESFPs, for ENFPs, “experiencing is believing.” Because of the high value they place on their personal experiences, ENFPs may feel they cannot fully know themselves until they have tried just about everything (contrast this with INJs, who feel they know whether they will like something without needing to experience it). For this reason, ENFPs are quintessential seekers and dilettantes, wanting to experience as much of life and the world as is humanly possible. In many regards, the interests and aspirations of ENFPs are infinite. This can be nothing less than exhausting for those trying to stay apace with them.

I think that’s enough seriousness for now. 

“We dwarves are natural sprinters! Very dangerous over short distances!” 

This weekend I’m running my first 5k. I slowed my progress a few weeks ago, thinking that I would still be finished the program in plenty of time. Then I got sick and missed a week and a half of runs. Then I hurt my knee. Then I read an article that said to avoid injuries, run faster. Of course I couldn’t keep up with my fast pace and had to walk a lot. Like Gimli, I’m a natural sprinter.

And you know what? I am way faster doing a walking/running combination than I am running at a sustainable pace. So I’ll be walk-running this 5k. I have one run left before Saturday and I’m going to try to get my endurance up. That means running the entire 25 minutes of my Week 7 Day 2, but at a slower pace. I’m not sure what I’ll do on Saturday, but my main goal is to finish in 45 minutes or under. I think that is more than doable.

I’m not sure that running will be my main exercise after I complete the C25k program (on pace to finish on or around September 22nd) but I will probably try to run once or twice a week in addition to other exercise. In a perfect world, I’d like to do a combination of yoga, pilates, running, swimming and elliptical each week. With some ballroom dancing thrown in. Jay and I were talking about taking lessons again since we had such fun learning scuba together. Of course he’s all into MMA at the moment. So perhaps the ballroom dancing will have to wait.

Oh, and look at the message that my tea gave me today:

I feel like I'm a little too much into experiencing myself lately. I think that I need to get out of my own head a bit. 

Well said, Bilbo. Some time off would be swell. Who wants to tell my boss that I need a mental health week?


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