I know that I said:
Don't worry, I'm not planning to post copious amounts of crap about my pregnancy or kid. Obviously my life will change, but I am hoping to still be awesome and not have my child totally consume my life.
But at the moment, my life revolves totally around the little guy. It's all about him right now. Babies are incredibly demanding. Once he gets into a better sleep schedule and we find a few reliable sitters, it will get easier. Right now it's just a lot of love and sleep deprivation.
I came to motherhood reluctantly. Perhaps even kicking and screaming. There were too many adventures to be had - too many places to travel, so many things to do. Last year I posted this rambling monstrosity about the things going on in my head and how I wanted to move to Australia. I would still love to live in OZ, but then...
All of that said, on to my sappy post to Markface -
I never knew how much I wanted and loved you until you were placed on my chest; wriggling, screaming, slimy, and grey.
Even though my alarm was going off this morning and I had to get in the shower, I couldn't get up.
Your body was snuggled against mine. You're a little furnace, just like your dad. You woke up three times during the night to eat, and I was exhausted - but all I could do was lay in bed and look at you. After the second time you woke me up, you ended up in bed between me and Jay. This week the sleeping is not going well -but if you're hungry, I have to feed you.
I was fully in the moment this morning before I had to get up for work. I know this time is fleeting. Too soon you will be too old to snuggle. You won't give me smiles in the morning and make me late to work. Too soon you will have your own opinions and be your own person, and those things will make me late to work. But for now, you are all mine. You can't protest if I snuggle you too much or give you too many kisses.
I hope that I never take this time for granted. I hope that I can be patient. I hope that I can be fully in the moment more often.
I didn't expect any of this... it is new and awesome and so much better than I was expecting, if I'm being honest.
I still want to travel and have adventures, but now I get to share that with this little person.
Life is good.